Having my photo taken for my blog is never something I’ve felt comfortable with. Considering outside of my blog I’m the first one to get my camera out on a night out for a selfie or group photo you might think that’s strange. My friends moan at me a lot of the time as I’m always taking photos. I think they roll their eyes at me when my camera comes out – but I tell them that if it wasn’t for me they wouldn’t have photos to look back on when they are 80 years old to jog their memory of all the good times they had!
Being photographed for fashion is something completely different though. I feel awkward. I feel self conscious and I feel vulnerable. Suddenly all the attention is on you, your body and outfit. I’ve never felt confident about how I look and I think starting blogging made it worse as you really are putting yourself out there for all to see and potentially criticize. At the same time I love showing people outfits that I’ve styled and new pieces that I’ve bought.
A lot of bloggers that follow me or that I follow are considerably younger than me and I’ve always felt a pressure to look younger and be slimmer. I didn’t think people would be interested in following a curvy size 10, thin haired, pale skinned, 33 year old blogger when it comes to fashion posts.
This summer two things happened which I never thought would. Firstly I won Highly Commended at the 30 Plus Awards. I was actively telling people I was over 30 and people actually voted for me! Yes, for me! I was so overwhelmed, and I still pinch myself to this day when I think about it. Secondly I “came out” as a blogger to my friends on Facebook. I’d kept it a secret all this time as I was concerned about the sly remarks people would make or think about me blogging. I needn’t had worried as so many people were supportive and lots of them now follow my blog or social media channels which has given me a huge confidence boost. Since then I’ve gradually begun to feel more accepted. Not just by bloggers but by everyone.
I’m just an average sized girl wearing every day clothes. Yes I have cellulite, a flat bum, bingo wings and chunky thighs – I’m no model. I’m not aspirational, but maybe its my “normality” that people like? I say that in brackets, as people that know me would never say I’m normal!! haha.
I’m hugely passionate about fashion and I would love to do more fashion posts so I really hope that you like this and want to see more…….
This was actually meant to be an OOTD post but as this has been playing on my mind I felt I had to release and get it all out…. I still need to tell you about this amazing outfit though – details are:
Thanks for reading my rambles.
Photography by the awesome Ines Pena.
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