For those of you that don’t know, my name is Leah. I’m 34 years old (very soon to be 35), I’m single and I have been for quite some time.
Most people my age have settled down – they have a long term partner or husband, and probably have kids too, so you know, I feel a bit in the minority.
Now lets not start off this post like it’s all doom and gloom. It’s not. It’s really not. Having a man in your life does not define who you are or how happy you are, and if it does, well girl you are looking in the wrong place for happiness. Trust me.
Now I doubt I hardly have any single 30 something year olds that follow me. I only say that as I just don’t come across hardly any girls who are single and 30+ generally in life! So on this basis I doubt this post will get many eyeballs on it, as none of you will find it at all relatable.
But for those of you that are interested here’s, from my point of view, what it’s like to be 34 and single.
When I was in my 20’s and I told people I was single I’d usually be greeted with “Oh well, you’re still so young” and “You still have so much time to meet someone“. Now when I tell someone I’m single it gets a bit awkward. There’s a bit of a gap before they say “Oh ok” and then move on….
What’s worse is when it’s then followed by “Oh, do you have children“? and then I say “No” to that too…. I literally want the ground to open up and swallow me. No one has a clue what to say!
People aren’t sure what to say to a 34 year old who is single, and to be honest I’m never quite sure what to say to them either.
To be fair this is just a benefit of being single regardless of what age you are, but I had to include it as I love it so much. Being able to have the whole bed to myself is just lovely. I feel like it’s a little bit of luxury every night.
I also don’t have to worry about someone elses snoring, hogging the covers or rolling onto my side of the bed. As you can tell I really don’t miss sharing a bed with anyone!
I have a strong love/ hate relationship with online dating. More of the hate, but there is a little bit of love there. If you have ever used a dating app I’m sure I won’t even need to explain why. You just know.
Online dating is hard work. It’s tedious, frustrating and literally does take up a lot of time. Not to mention that if you have used it for a long time and encountered loads of sexist, rude and ignorant twats like I have, then you start having negative feelings towards the whole male race. I have to keep reminding myself that not all men are like that, but it’s hard at times!
On the other hand for someone of my age it’s just impossible to meet anyone without it. I don’t live in a huge city and I don’t go out clubbing anymore like I did in my 20’s and meet people. The older you get the less fish there are in the sea that are available, so to be able to find someone that is single with a few clicks on my phone I think is brilliant!
Very Few Role Models
It’s drummed into us from a young age that we should meet someone, settle down, buy the family home and have kids.
That’s great if if you want that and it works out for you. But what about the ones who don’t want that in their life or haven’t managed it?
Even in the Bridget Jones film (which I love FYI) who is a 30+ singleton, it portrays her as being unhappy because she is single.
Where are the strong independent 30+ females who are single in the media? I actually can’t think of one……
I’m a firm believer that if you don’t like something in your life then only you have the power to change it. If want to lose weight then only you can do it. Only you can stop smoking, and only you can do something about working in a job you’re not happy in.
I like to problem solve and it’s in my nature to find solutions to problems, but this “problem” I don’t seem to have any control over.
I can’t make a man fall in love with me (otherwise David Beckham you would be mine) and I can’t make myself fancy someone I don’t.
As someone who likes to control things in their life I struggle with this being the one thing in my life I can’t control.
Not Enough Hours In The Day
To say my life is busy is a bit of an understatement. I barely get time for the gym, I rarely ever watch TV or Netflix, in fact I struggle to get the right amount of sleep every night. So I have absolutely no idea how I would ever actually fit a guy into this life of mine.
At the moment if I got asked for a date the answer would probably be “Errr yeah, OK, how about 3 weeks from next Wednesday?”.
You can’t help but ask yourself “Why?”. Why haven’t I met the one yet? Why don’t I meet anyone when I’m out? Why am I the only one left out of my friends that is still single?
After various talks from my friends about why it could be, apart from them telling me I’m too fussy, it turns out that I think I’m just unlucky.
Now I’ve already said that I don’t have time to fit a boyfriend in right now as I have no spare time, BUT…. When my life calms down a bit and I do have some spare time I can enjoy it doing exactly what I want.
I won’t have to spend my weekends round the in-laws, or sit through a football match that totally doesn’t interest me. I will get to spend any spare time just doing just what I enjoy. I’ll go shopping, watch trash TV and spend time with my friends/ family – all totally guilt free.
I don’t need a man in my life. I’m pretty independent and self sufficient. I’m lucky enough to have amazing friends and a job I love which keeps me very busy. However in the future I would like to meet a guy and have a family.
So as much as I love my life. I would like to settle down and I do worry that it may never happen. There is no guarantee or promise that it will happen and that’s a pretty scary thought.
What I’m Wearing
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